Childrens bible study humor

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Children's Bible Study Humor

In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, God tired of creating the
world, so He took the Sabbath off.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.

Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark, which the animals came on to in
pears.

Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread,
which is bread made without ingredients.

Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

The Jews were proud people and throughout history they had trouble with
the unsympathetic Genitals.

Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like
Delilah.

Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterward, Moses went up
on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.

The First Commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

The Fourth Commandment is to humor thy father and mother.

The Sixth Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

Moses died before he ever reached Canada.

Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand
still and he obeyed him.

David was a Hebrew King skilled at playing the lair. He fought with the
Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she said the Magna
Carta.

When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in
the manager.

Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption. St. John, the
Blacksmith, dumped water on his head.

Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before
they do one on you. He also explained "Man doth not live by sweat
alone".

It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the
tombstone off the entrance.

The people who followed the Lord were call the 12 decibles. The epistles
were wives of the apostles.

One of the oppossums was St. Mathew who was by profession a taximan.

A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is
another name for marriage.

When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie
heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm,
boy.